at 2 o'clock in the morning

Don't you just hate it when your thinking so much that you forget to sleep? I do. Thinking about what my next blog post is going.to be, about how I'm going to catch up on two weeks of classes and get my other assignments in on time. About Gennie, my elderly neighbor who is sleeping peacefully atm. About my gir..ex-girlfriend Becca. About how I hope she's ok and (this is really bad but..) wondering what she's doing. Wondering if she misses le like I miss her (to some extent I hope not because its been almost two weeks and..I still break down crying with my head in my hands- missing her) I still can't sleep, can't think, can't work without being reminded of her, hoping she's alright..wondering if I should do like I always do- through cation to the wind and try and make it work again. So here I am, Laying here in bed at 2 o'clock in the morning because I'm over thinking and can't sleep. Missing my best friend in the WHOME ENTIRE WORLD, knowing she's probably never going to talk to me again (oh man..tears are welling..) wanting to talk to her about everything..My ancle is acheing, reminding me of my stupidity, I'm starving, I'm lonely and I can't focus.

 

Even though I'm really struggling with this I'm trying to just give it to the Lord, my heart is so heavy but I know He's got this, nothing is too big or too small For God. He conquered death. He pulled me out of the hundred foot holes I've dug myself into. He's been the only dude in my life that hasn't used me.

 

Anyways I'm gonna try and sleep now cause I have work tomorrow and my head is killing me- I just needed to get my thoughts out.

 

Night everyone xx

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