Last year was a trip. A big one. Last year, I met some incredible and..not so incredible people. I lost my best friend August 2014- she was a huge insperation in my life and I miss her like crazy- she passed away at 78 years old. I also found out some very important things about relationships and how this world is, I saw alot of the dark and what lurks there. Here recently, I have just gone through a very bad break up and its made me hit (a very hard) rock bottom. I started smoking again for one and got drunk off my royal behind only to be told in the morning that I made out with two of my best friends. I have been very rude to two people which isn't really normal. Like- NORMALLY I try not to be an ass but I've let fly afew times. Another time in this pask month on my express elevator ride to hell (rock bottm.) is that I got very intoxicated (again) and tried making out with some random chick and ended up infected with bed bugs (which are gone now, praise Jesus. Boyond this I also almost attempted suicide twice- im pretty sure that there is still a suicide note floating around my room somewhere.
On a more positive note though, after the end of my last unfruitful relationship I started following my passions. I joined a hardcore band and also am waiting on calls for practice pens this summer, going back to college this next semester and looking for my next crazy adventure because the other day I had a revolation before i actually smashed to the bottom. The revelation that I am built for greatness. But not a worldly greatness or a selfish greatness but a Godly one, like- one that gives the glory to God and makes my life scream that God does amazing things. I don't wanna go through the motions like I did last year- I dont want people to affect me as severly as I let them. The only persons that I want to actually let affect and make my desisions is Jesus...and my mom.
While living in the dark, cold and insanly secular world I realized just how foolish people are. Like I thought that people grew more mature with age but NOOOO. No its not that at all. I finally understand what the bible means when it says "God gives wisdom" (im paraphrasing cause i dont remember the verse exacly but basicly the dude is talking about how you need to know God before you can have wisdom. I HAVE SEEN THAT THIS IS TRUE.
alright Ill finish this later cause my mom called me but basically. I have relized that i wasnt put on this earth for no reason. I, and we and they and everyone is here for a purpose. you just have to be brave enough to find it, and follow.