I've never cried this hard..

I've never cried this hard before..I can't believe I'm so broken over this, I can't believe I'm still so in love with her. I can't stand this thought in my head! I can't stand the thought of..of her tranfering the love she had for me over to him. I know that he can treat her better. I know that. But it kills after a two year relationship and having to watch as the person you love so much and trust so much starts loving someone else. And that makes me sound so selfish nd self centered. I just want her to be happy-I won't pester her or tell her I'm jealous though..as always ill be happy for her and tell her that I'm happy she's found someone. I'll be the perfect ex-girlfriend.. 

 

Until she leaves. Fully leaves. Thats what hurts the most, cause I know what's going to happen- girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl falls for boy and stops talking to her stupid ex-girlfriend who lives 6000 miles away and lives happily ever after.. 

Then ill just lay here like I'm doing and cry more because ill have lost my best friend in the whole wide world. The girl who knew me so well and who understood me.

He's so lucky.. he'll get to hold her and hug her and kiss her and..and kiss her ear..and hold her hands..and love her..in the first week with her. Instead of torchuring her with two years of never Being able to to hug..

 

I wish I was him..I wish I lived over there and that I was still ignorant and still had no conviction. I wish I could have made her happy and been the best girlfriend in the world. I wish I hadnt hung up the last time that we talked on the phone and that I whad kissed her back..

 

I wish I wasnt such a canyon inside..stuck inbetween an imoveable and an unstoppable force..

 

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Comments

  1. willlow

    I am sorry you are hurting.

    March 26, 2013
  2. gloriaterpening-herrmann

    Sorry to hear what you are going through. The best thing is to take each day as it comes, and welcome any healing it brings Good luck to you!

    March 26, 2013
    1. eimi-xeros

      Thanks hun xx

      March 26, 2013